Untapped Emotions

This is just from a journal entry I wrote back in March when I was in Italy contemplating being single in a romantic city that most people are experiencing with a loved one of some sort.

Here's my problem with still being single... I want someone to hold me properly. Hold my hand in public, brush the hair off my face. Tuck me under his chin and wrap me in his arms. I want someone to kiss me on the forehead and nose, and know when I'm having a rough day when my eyes aren't smiling. I want to be there for someone and not constantly think they will assume I want something more than just being with them.
I think I just really desire touch. Having gone so long and not having a guy hold my hand because he actually liked me, while knowing he liked me hasn't happened in a while. And now I really don't think any of the guys in Orlando are for me. I'm okay with that. With that being said, I'm not asking for a fairytale, just a story of my own.

I'd say I am currently still in that frame of mind. When I say touch, I mean nothing in an overtly physical manner, I mean being acknowledged as a girl who takes some time in her appearance. Not for anyone, just for herself, but it is nice to be noticed. And not by some homeless guy on the side of the street who doesn't know where to put his eyes. No, I mean like a lady. Being admired for having some modesty.

Often times people think I'm asking for these grandiose gestures, but I think when you start getting up there in that age bracket of someone who hasn't been on a proper date and is a little bit more different than other girls in that age bracket who are married with kids, little things are what I enjoy. I have high expectations, but they are practical. If you would have asked me when I was 18, I probably wanted a bit more, but my expectation list has tapered off quite a bit.

Due to the respect of the man who ends up pursuing me. I don't want him to be any less than what I've strived to be for him, but I don't want to expect him to be any greater than things I've not strived to change in my life.


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