Single Waiting

It's been a while since I've posted the likings of a romantic life or whatever you'd call it; but I have since moved back to Florida from Portland as of the end of January this year and the romancing of a new city has finally died. I can say I've had a lot of adventures as a single woman and have greatly enjoyed them. I've had time to contemplate in the singleness and figure out the areas I wanted to work on in myself that are still works-in-progress. I also took the time to not pressure myself with certain things in life because there really is no rush on any of it at the end of the day. The Earth still turns, the sun goes down, the moon comes up and vice versa. Life can get ahead of me sometimes, and I need to stop getting so caught up in what I can't control. Moving back home (deep down I know Florida will always be home) has kind of helped me realize all the things I knew to be important, but it was also a beautiful and painful journey of growing pains th

The word self in the title used three times in succession is enough to make any person who is not used to being selfish turn into a spiral of confusion. The truth about it all is that we live in a society that glorifies and glamorizes selfishness, and demonizes those who for moments of time; do not look after themselves. Crazy fools we must be! Taking care of others before ourselves can come at a great cost; leveling with ourselves to be more aware of the obstacles we face in turning away from our own awareness can be unsettling. I fear living under the guise of disillusionment and not being able to see others before myself. I shy away from bringing too much attention to myself and I make myself pretty invisible in cases where I feel like I could take up too much space. For instance, in every home I've shared with other people (apart from my own family) I have just barely existed. Not knowing how to ask for things that I want, or asking for what I want and feeling as if I'm