My Romantic Life/Romantic Horror Flick

Sure, sure it can't be that dire. There can't be a lack of prospects. Single life isn't all bad.

This is what I tell myself all too often to be my own hype man.
I think, maybe I'll run into that guy who resembles Danny Castellano who will be my go to guy friend who spits the truth at me, but secretly has developed a sincere love connection. Or perhaps someone who is grumpy like Nick Miller, but deep down he just wants love to work out in his favor, and he graciously accepts the weirdness and quirkiness of his friend, because he knows she wants the same kind of love and acceptance.

I dunno, maybe my ideals of TV show friendship love and loathing is not where I need to set my example, but the interesting thing is I have. I am not a fairy tale girl. As I have stated before. The likes of those feelings are so engrained in my mind it could easily be a tattoo it's that permanent.

Do not mistake my slight fairytale cynicism for a lack of romanticism, because I am a romantic at heart. I adore romance, and love stories... just real ones.

And all the while I have met some great guys in my short life, none of them have been for me. Boo hoo or yay? More like a yay! Seeing where I was in my life at the time of liking these guys, I was definitely accepting the love/like I thought I deserved. (Yea, Wallflowers taught me that). I have had guys who have challenged me, and liked me for my silliness, or been communicative in the way that's to be expected when you are learning more about the person, but in turn they were not ready to pursue anything intently and I was all to ready to be pursued by them and their unpreparedness and accepting their flippant attitude towards respecting me.

"Girl... you gotta respect yourself first!"

At least I think that's what my subconscious sounded like all the time when I found myself PURSUING the boys. I was practically Gigi (Gennifer Goodwyn) from "He's Just Not That Into You". Do not take that movie reference as a  life altering moment I had because I did not put much stock into everything all the characters said or did, but I found myself reacting a little like some of the girls and some of the guys.
Alex (Justin Long) was just the type of guy most girls should consider being friends with for his brutal honesty, but also because he may need a girl like Gigi in his life that can prevent him from being the worlds biggest cynic. Not saying all girls OVER analyze, but I will say ALL girls analyze. And while it's annoying that we create a quick story in our heads of love and matrimony over one good meet-up with a guy is deemed ridiculous, it allows us to keep our hopes up when they are constantly thwarted and slighted. ALL. THE. TIME.

As I prepare now, truly prepare my heart who God will allow me to meet, I see that I do not want my emotions all tangled up in every guy that comes along with those amazing qualities befitting of husband material, but I do want to speak encouragement in their lives as I should as their sister-in-Christ and uplift them. I have had to do that many times. I feel it is my ministry to do so and in a healthy way. I am best about writing encouraging notes, cards, or letters. I feel that after I have written it, I know very vaguely all of what I have written them, but enough to know it is specific for them. In a way, it keeps me from attaching any romantic feelings to them when I don't memorize what it is I'm telling them. By the time they meet their lovely bride, I pray that certain things that I've said as well as other important people (not stating myself as an invaluable person in their life) in their life intertwine into their new life with a partner.
I know it's God's desire for us to be more uplifting of one another, essentially preparing us for others we come across in life, not just future spouses, but how we treat and talk to everyone in our paths.
In my case, I always have to check my motives to make sure that I'm not trying to gain something else from it.
Eventually I'll come across that guy who will speak truth into my life and his motives and intent will be of marriage and I won't have to guess all the time what his intentions are. He will be as clear as crystal because God knows exactly what it is I need. I will just have to do my part in not shutting him out when he tries. :)


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