Preparation D, L, M, F {Marriage}

Preparing for marriage is the thing that stands out the most. I would love to have a well paying job. Not only to provide for myself, but to make sure that my loans are taken care of without relying so heavily on joining in a partnership. I have talked to a few of my girl friends that honestly believe that the debts they have should be paid off by their future husbands.

What's mine is yours baby!
Hmmmm........ I haven't found peace in that mindset.

Even if I can pay off 50-80% of my student loans right now I'd be elated. If not, then I will be working my butt off so that isn't a major factor in our marriage. Finances are one of the things in life that stress most people out. Not having money and being on your own is one thing, not having money and having to provide for someone else is another. Not having money and having a family is out of this world.
Thankfully marriage is based on many decisions that you are talking over with the person you love. I am not going to treat it as a burden and act like I can't live my life, there are just certain things {luxuries: going to the movies albeit a dollar movie once a month doesn't seem like much, but everything adds up} that I will have to forgo. Living sufficiently and not beyond my means is important. The same goes for what future is capable of managing financially, I need to live within those means. I want to be able to honor him and respect the provisions.

I know many people will keep telling me while I'm single that I need to enjoy being single and that being a couple is hard work. That marriage is hard WORK. Guess what? Not trying to be a know-it-all, but my friendships have consisted of the same thing. Loving who you're getting married to, should feel like getting married to a best friend. You want to tell them everything, you want to grow old with them, you have difficulties because while you're besties, you still have differing personalities. My best friend and I have been best friends since we were 4. She is now married and living in another state, which has been the foundation of our friendship, living miles and miles away from each other but still being in communication with one another. It hasn't been easy on account of moving around a lot, but it worked. And it works. It's WORK, but the fruit from all of that work is someone who gets me and someone whom I get no matter the changes in our lives, and if we aren't on the same page, well that's more learning and growth we both do. Marriage isn't a prison sentence, so stop looking at it as putting "the time" when things get harder.


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