I guess you want to hear the story of how I defeated parts of my fear........... That saying, "when you love someone, you let them go", well I won't say that I loved the friend in that way, I have a strong sense of respect and like for him. I appreciate his honesty, even if and when he frustrates me at times. Yesterday was probably the first time he's really bothered me by what he said, and it's not because I didn't agree with it, its because he talked about something openly that I feel is more personal. That's all besides the point, the reason I conquered the fear is because I prayed for some courage.
I openly and honestly talked to the girl that I believed he had liked over the summer. The two of us met up at Barnies for a chit chat, and had a good conversation. After pushing aside the nerves, I finally asked her what was going on between her and fellow friend. She explained to me her feelings for him, and I got out what I needed to say. I was and am in no way upset by it, I just wanted an honest answer on them since everyone around me had only been telling me their opinions of the situation. I know how much that feeling is awful when people ask around instead of just asking you personally. I felt better knowing that I can back away and not feel as if my emotions or feelings for him need to continue. She was very helpful in telling me her side, and I appreciate that.
So, in trusting, the barriers of fear can be broken. It wasn't something I couldn't handle. I feel as if I've gone through a lot more that has left my heart wrung, but in this case, I prayed for peace, and for any type of bitterness to be removed from my mind. I told her i just want to see him happy, and would also like for her to be careful with his heart. I don't ask for much when I care for someone, I just want them to be happy, healthy, and be blessed.
Anyways, that's pretty much the only major thing that occurred yesterday, but a lot in that one moment will profoundly change me in growth.