Blast From My Past//Oiy to the Vey

"I am literally recklessly tired. I feel like I am in this hamster wheel of being near the end but not quite. You know, I can't complain that 2 weeks has stretched out as long as it has, but I think I'm ready to relinquish my rights as a student so I can have a CAREER, not another JOB. Two completely different things, and something that I look forward to. Not a lot of people do, and a lot of people think I'm crazy for wanting a career, and tell me I'll regret saying this when I don't have the comfortability of being in school all day. That has never been me, to be in school all day, sit in a structured environment that doesn't allow me to be a creative thinker all day long. I don't say that it stunted me, but I've always like being outside of the classroom to learn. 

The world is my classroom and I think my parents have kind of figured that out. Me getting where I am now is by the grace of God, and the unconditional support of my family, and the blessing support of friends. I think I've gotten more uplifting words in this completion of my life than I have any other time. When I think of that, I realize how far I've come, and how much I've become an actual adult. I fought that mess tooth and nail when I was little, I said to my mom one time, "Mommy I don't wanna be a teenager." You think I'm joking, but when I was a teenager, I didn't really want to be an adult because you slowly start losing all of that time you had when you were a kid to just be a kid. Being a kid is a peaceful thing for me because I had such a great childhood. Now, I'm not the girl who dreads getting older because of the superficiality in it, of gaining weight, getting gray hairs, or the numbers. I love all of that, I think its a beautiful trademark my parents have passed on to me and I will gracefully accept my age, don't fault me if I actually forget my age, I stopped caring after 21."

Where I'm at now... Still needing a career for starters. 
The world is still my classroom and i'm about to go on the biggest adventure of my life.
In the last year I have been trying to make sense of being an adult that doesn't feel as if she's accomplished anything. But, now I'm a bit more aware that it doesn't make a bit of difference that I haven't fit in this unknown timeline of "adulthood". I don't become a successful adult in society just because I get married, have children, and own my own home.


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