Telling Tales {Random Ramblings}

Have you ever saved emails, texts, notes, letters from people?
Not just any person... Messages from guys you've liked (for girls). Or messages from girls (for guys)?
You maybe keep them because you want to re-read something that was so good you don't want to believe it to be over.
Maybe something that is so good, you want to be reminded of what you HAVE.
Something so good, you never want to forget what you HAD.
Perhaps, something that built up to being something great, but because of fear, it never transpired.

This is my story...
Met a guy. His name shall be Craig.
Met Craig when I was being a free woman. Free in mind, and in life. Just knowing that I felt really good with myself and not having to be with anyone.
I say this as a precursor to how comfortable I was the night I met him. I was myself, didn't have a care in the world.

Craig and I hit it off. We chatted about work, about family, goals, etc. I noticed his attention wasn't pointed towards most of the other people that were out with us that night. I had met him the same time everyone else had, so I was becoming slightly interested in this newfound attention.
I knew I wasn't smitten completely since I didn't remember his name throughout the night.
As the night was nearing an end, he mentioned that he could help me out with some stuff the next day. (I won't delve too much into what it was in regards to, might give away more than I want to.)

The following week, we ended up hanging out after I got off work. Walked around a bit and he bought our dinner. I didn't think it was a date, until i realized the little effort he put into meeting up with me before he had to go to work.
The evening went well. I went home feeling elated and thinking, man, there is a possibility this guy is actually interested in me.

Fast forward to weeks of random text messages, hanging out with friends and more personal type conversations. You know the one where you're getting a feel for what that person is interested in (ahem then he makes mention you're his type) and you continue to have a deep conversation about relational things.
Mind you, Craig, had been called out in the beginning. I asked was he showing any interest because there was interest on my part. He says no. You come to my fast forward point, and now it's not a non interesest, but a blatant interest in words and actions. Now I'm confused, but still going along with it, thinking something may come of it. Any future confusion will lead to me calling out a clear and defined line of friendship/more.

Well, back to the start of this entry, when you hold on to messages for the sake of being an investigator after all is said and done. I re-read a message that he sent. We were talking about the romanticism of stargazing and listening to Ray Lamontagne. We both agreed that something like that goes hand in hand, in which he responded that he would go hand in hand. So when that statement was made (I had already defined the line of friendship, stating to him about there being a clear definition of all this junk that was being said.) But of course by this point, in his words, was "not interested" in me, yet these were things he was throwing out regularly.
I told him he shouldn't tease me in this way, and he said he thought I had it backwards. I was teasing him.
My dear friend, pray tell me, in what way am I teasing you good sir? I can't tease an uninterested heart now can I?
Now my dear friends, I do admit to reading into things a bit, but one thing I am hardly ever off about is when a guy isn't owning up to how he feels with me. Because the way they act with me, is the very same way they will act with another girl their interested in.

Do you want to know what happened? Hmmm, boy got a new girl. Boy still wanted to keep me in his life. I kept boy at arm's length because I wasn't ready to be hurt all over again, so I chose to keep him out of my life until several months ago. We reacquainted our friendship and met up on my birthday. We went to dinner and he paid. Just the two of us. Now I am not building anything up of what it was since we were now at the point of where two friends ought to be, but what he said to me as dinner was nearing was if I had wanted to talk to him about something else.
I didn't know what else there was to talk about. I had talked to him about his life and how everything had been going. I even made several mentions of the new interest of his life. I genuinely had moved on and I think he gathered that. I feel we left the night on good terms, best wishes... all of that stuff.

Boy's now getting married. Essentially the story of my life is the song that Mumford and Sons sing, "I Will Wait."

With that being said, I will be waiting a little bit longer and it won't be for that guy. But I am okay with that.
Carry on.


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