The Battles We Face

Practicing how to get back into regular routines is not an easy task, but I think when coming back from a trip like I just have, the routines are the things that I once had are not what I want to fall back into.
My challenge to myself is to out in 100% of effort towards my goals. To challenge my walk and have people challenge me in my walk. To learn what it is I value and what needs to be laid to rest.

The thing with routines and habits are that they can be conflicting at times and control you in the worst possible way if you let it.
In my case, I haven't had many steady routines since I graduated college. I knew everyday when I had class, from blocks of scheduled time. When I needed to be at work, and back at school to work on projects, and how much extra time I could have outside of all those areas. But now, I don't have school responsibilities weighing down on me, but more adult responsibilities, financial goals and responsibilities to be met, career responsibilities, etc.
My habits pre-mission trip were habits of exhaustion and frustration. That internalized into staying up past 2 and 3 in the morning because my brain was always rushing and I couldn't even verbalize any of it.
During my post-mission trip, I want to find myself more settled in certain areas of my life. Not always rushing around, feeling like I need to be everywhere, be around everyone, and be everything for everyone else. No, I'm learning, and the trip taught me that.
My routines have to be something of value towards my outcome and what I'm looking to do for myself.  And my routines need to coincide with my habits. Healthier habits. The battle in all of it, is to make sure that I have the word of God at hand, to be always in the word. That is something I failed at when I was going through all of my restlessness. I fell away, because I didn't want one more thing to think about that I thought (at the time) I couldn't rely on. I couldn't rely on getting the answers I wanted for how I was feeling, so I pushed myself away. That small area of distrust is where the enemy got to creep in and have his say so, if even for a short time. I need to be protected. I need to have my heart more guarded against lies. And when things aren't where you want them to be in life, is when the most amount of lies comes to destroy and steal what truth you do know, and the faith you are holding on to.

My battle: My thoughts. Flesh desires. Matters of the heart.


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