Are You Content with being Single?
This is a question a few friends and I briefly discussed in a car, at 11:45 at night, in a bowling alley parking lot, devouring the delectable tastes of 49 cent and 59 cent hamburgers and cheeseburgers, fries, and Cocoa Cola bevies.
One girl friend responded, "No! I'm not okay with being single. I'm just saying, I'm not content with it."
We all kind of looked at her as she resituated her cheeseburger and laughed along with her in her curt response. Next was my guy friend who sits quietly through most group conversations, but I'm slowly learning he has an opinion on a lot of different things.
The girl asking the question assumed he was content with being single because he had just dropped a bombshell on all of our eager ears that his sister has 7 children and on her third marriage, and his brother has 7 children also. The questioner's response was, "No wonder you're okay with being single!"
He then says quickly, "Who said anything about me being okay with being single?" I laughed under my breath thinking about the conversation we had just had that weekend about his personal life. Knowing that his mind was not detached from being with someone. Someone in particular.
I sat quietly eating my sandwich as there was but three of us that still didn't answer the question. She darted her eyes back to me asking, "So what about you? Are you content with being single?"
I pondered my answer to make sure it was appropriate and not on the verge of desperation, "I sometimes am content with being single, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want a boyfriend or someone to be with. Some days the feeling is stronger than others, and other days, I hardly pay attention to the fact that I don't have someone." I said what I needed to, not making eye contact with the two boys in the car. Only seeing glimpses of one shaking his head in agreement, but never making eye contact with him.
Then he speaks up. The one who seems to have an answer for everything. A facetious answer, but an answer none the less. He says he's content with being single because he's beautiful and loves himself. Yup! That's all we were getting out of him, the guy who has many wise things to say, who sometimes doesn't take himself serious enough, those were his wise words.
The girl asking all of the question finally speaks up and says she realizes why she is content with it, "because I don't have a respect for most men when it comes to that......" I'll expound, rather than taking her words out of context. She had just come back from a wedding over the weekend where she made mention there were several frat guys at this wedding. Some trying to make passes at her in their own way, others trying to brag about their accomplishments, and none remotely peeking her interest in the slightest bit of walking away with her hand in their hand for the evening. So, the way she phrased it was that her lack of respect comes when she doesn't value what they are saying. Not to say she dislikes/disrespects all men, but that is her opinion now. I told her that when she finds someone who grasps her attention enough, she will want to respect them because she will want to gauge herself into that relationship/conversation or whatever it is.
All of that to say, I've had several thoughts go in and out of my mind in the last few weeks wondering if the guy I'm interested in, has enough of my attention to want to see it go anywhere else or be anything else. I know what I'm not content with, and that's being a guys interim girlfriend. I am that go-to girl for guy friends when they need to talk and need someone to listen, and occasionally want advice but most likely will not follow it. That is where I lose my patience in being content. I have essentially buffed, shined, polished, and waxed someone else's dream guy for Them, and walk away with nothing. Just my heart placed back in my chest, zipped up, stowed away, and hopefully excited for the next guy to actually be mine. It is one of the longest processes I have ever had to go through in my life. Aside from school which took a combined total of 21 years to complete, and college which took a combined total of 7 years to complete; meeting my future husband has been the-longest-wait I have ever endured. The race is almost over, they will be grabbing my hand on this dark, long, and lonely road soon enough, and I will rejoice because I finished what I started. Not on my own, but with someone else. So if this is what I can look forward to while being single is finishing the race with someone else, I'll put my hope and faith in God to see it through.
One girl friend responded, "No! I'm not okay with being single. I'm just saying, I'm not content with it."
We all kind of looked at her as she resituated her cheeseburger and laughed along with her in her curt response. Next was my guy friend who sits quietly through most group conversations, but I'm slowly learning he has an opinion on a lot of different things.
The girl asking the question assumed he was content with being single because he had just dropped a bombshell on all of our eager ears that his sister has 7 children and on her third marriage, and his brother has 7 children also. The questioner's response was, "No wonder you're okay with being single!"
He then says quickly, "Who said anything about me being okay with being single?" I laughed under my breath thinking about the conversation we had just had that weekend about his personal life. Knowing that his mind was not detached from being with someone. Someone in particular.
I sat quietly eating my sandwich as there was but three of us that still didn't answer the question. She darted her eyes back to me asking, "So what about you? Are you content with being single?"
I pondered my answer to make sure it was appropriate and not on the verge of desperation, "I sometimes am content with being single, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want a boyfriend or someone to be with. Some days the feeling is stronger than others, and other days, I hardly pay attention to the fact that I don't have someone." I said what I needed to, not making eye contact with the two boys in the car. Only seeing glimpses of one shaking his head in agreement, but never making eye contact with him.
Then he speaks up. The one who seems to have an answer for everything. A facetious answer, but an answer none the less. He says he's content with being single because he's beautiful and loves himself. Yup! That's all we were getting out of him, the guy who has many wise things to say, who sometimes doesn't take himself serious enough, those were his wise words.
The girl asking all of the question finally speaks up and says she realizes why she is content with it, "because I don't have a respect for most men when it comes to that......" I'll expound, rather than taking her words out of context. She had just come back from a wedding over the weekend where she made mention there were several frat guys at this wedding. Some trying to make passes at her in their own way, others trying to brag about their accomplishments, and none remotely peeking her interest in the slightest bit of walking away with her hand in their hand for the evening. So, the way she phrased it was that her lack of respect comes when she doesn't value what they are saying. Not to say she dislikes/disrespects all men, but that is her opinion now. I told her that when she finds someone who grasps her attention enough, she will want to respect them because she will want to gauge herself into that relationship/conversation or whatever it is.
All of that to say, I've had several thoughts go in and out of my mind in the last few weeks wondering if the guy I'm interested in, has enough of my attention to want to see it go anywhere else or be anything else. I know what I'm not content with, and that's being a guys interim girlfriend. I am that go-to girl for guy friends when they need to talk and need someone to listen, and occasionally want advice but most likely will not follow it. That is where I lose my patience in being content. I have essentially buffed, shined, polished, and waxed someone else's dream guy for Them, and walk away with nothing. Just my heart placed back in my chest, zipped up, stowed away, and hopefully excited for the next guy to actually be mine. It is one of the longest processes I have ever had to go through in my life. Aside from school which took a combined total of 21 years to complete, and college which took a combined total of 7 years to complete; meeting my future husband has been the-longest-wait I have ever endured. The race is almost over, they will be grabbing my hand on this dark, long, and lonely road soon enough, and I will rejoice because I finished what I started. Not on my own, but with someone else. So if this is what I can look forward to while being single is finishing the race with someone else, I'll put my hope and faith in God to see it through.
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