Single Waiting

January is the abacus of the year. Constant numbers adding and subtracting from the start of goals and the end of them. Every year is a goal that is set because of the clean slate that is presented, but I have actively been trying to get myself out of that routine for the last few years now. The strain I have only ever felt upon not completing the laid out goals with terms and conditions led me to believe that I meant well for myself, but I wasn't sticking with any of the well-laid intentions. So I started to find things I needed to grow in, months before the new year; and actively started working on it without the stress of the first fresh day of the new year. So far it has worked for me, and I will continue to make changes for a lifetime, not for a stint of the new year. Now has come the time of a little wariness and it includes social media as usual. Every day, every week and month and year I feel it's nagging pressure to keep up with something/someone that I can't keep ...

I have been looking around my room a lot differently these days. Making mental notes of a keep, give, and toss pile and all I can say is I am not looking forward to the actual actions of doing so. These are things accumulated over the course of my prepubescent stages of life, as well as teenage years, and early adulthood.  Once I open a box that has notes and letters of the past, I can't help but sit down on the floor in the middle of the pile of papers reading everythig again. As if it was for the first time or experiencing déjàvu. I've noted my camera gear is an essential keep. My music, obviously a keep, and my dvd's...figuring out whether to part with 50% of it or less. The truth is most everything I own, aside from cosmetic products, I have forced myself to use consistently. If it hasn't been used in 6 months or more it is a give away or a toss. Now I am in a new situation that could potentially involve me moving very soon and I don't know how I feel yet only h...

You know that feeling you get when you meet someone for the first time; and who they are just makes you glad to know they exist even if you never see them again? You're happy to know that in a short amount of time you got to experience just a hint of that spark that you are glad other people get to have the same experience even if you only experienced it momentarily. I met someone like that, and it makes me ecstatic to know they exist in this world and in other people's lives.

I walked to the end of my terminal happy to have spent the time in a beautiful and magical city and with wonderful people. I was boarding my plane with a heavy heart that I was leaving something I wanted to be by my side the whole flight back home. A hot stream of water began to fill in my eyes, blurring my vision as I blinked to force them down my face. Why was I crying? I didn't even cry when I was leaving Italy... I had a mixture of heart pangs and being overwhelmed by gracious hosts. The hospitality I had experienced was something that made me feel warm and invited. I cried because I was leaving two cities that were destined to be called home in another year or so. I cried because my heart had attached itself. It had been warmed by the friendly dispositions of the city and had fallen for the character it possessed. The heart is a tricky thing when it wants to be. It can thrive on emotions, it can thrive on insecurities and hopes and words. It is a powerful well of strength when...

Alright my fellow friends and readers, this is one for the books. A story about a girl going to a city to fall in love with the opportunities. And did she. She fell in love so hard that her heart and head were undeniably made up.  She prepped for an adventure to see the side of the Continental U.S. That she had only ever read in books and seen on TV. Sure her fascination started on the likes of California first because she was smitten with the movie stars. Later on in life her perception changed of any true love for California, and she later often thought of those majestic mountains and deep emerald green forest placing itself on her heart. The northwest had somehow become a place of peace in her mind; an unintentional spot for home and deep roots.  Girl grew into a wanderluster, a fernweh enthusiast; always looking for her next big adventure even if in her backyard.  Her back yard, for 17 years, had consisted of a flat land in the south. Far from those rolling hills that...

"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start." Words noted famously by Charles Bukowsi and also a handful of other people that have this mindset as the pinnacle of their lives. Traveling feels a lot like that quote. Today I am going on a solo adventure and there will be opportunities I might be a little afraid of because I will be by myself, but I would be more upset having not tried something different and new just because of fear.  Take last night for instance, I participated in eating green peppers. It's not a new thing, I've had it in food before, but not a dominant member of my food. And guess what, it wasn't half bad. I liked the texture of it with my food. Try getting me to eat red ones and you're just pushing it; but at least I tried and liked it. So there you have it. Short and sweet. To adventure is to take a risk.

I hope the dreary snow storms are treating you as right as rain and you're getting good source of vitamin d to your system.  I am now on my next pit stop in the great north west of Seattle. I am leaving Portland with a jubilant heart, wood-fired market fresh pizza in my belly, a sweet family of four that have been at the helm of my adventures, and feeling like I tasted Portland in just a small way that my interest will forever be peaked. I've drawn the conclusion (very early on) that I am going to move here. The sweet Wu family went above and beyond as hosts, and their sweet kids were a great addition to me seeing everything with excitement. I'm leaving Portland  as their newest foodie, an annual weirdo, a baby gear disassembler, and a rookie transit rider. Yes, Portland your vast green foliage has captured my imagination as well as my heart; all the winding roads were worth the end result of being on top of a fog drizzled mountain overlooking the slightly dulled, but color...