Single Waiting

Preparing for family . I love babies. I have thought about having a family of my own, but have never had one of those " my clock is ticking everytime I hold a baby " moments. Kids make me happy, they bring a wonderful outlook on life that I think sometimes I take for granted. It really is the little things. For whatever reason, in conversation with guy friends I do not openly admit my love for kids and wanting my own some day because there is always this weird stigma attached to women that do that. Kudos to them for SAYING what they want. I don't know why I fear saying certain things. Maybe I don't fear it as much as I'm blowing it out of proportion, but I do often times cautiously approach the conversations even though I shouldn't have to. It's something I want in my future. Many a friends are having babies, I'm changing diapers, rocking them to sleep, and giving them their food. In my single brain, babies=$$$$. I love them, but in no way ...

Preparing for marriage is the thing that stands out the most. I would love to have a well paying job. Not only to provide for myself, but to make sure that my loans are taken care of without relying so heavily on joining in a partnership. I have talked to a few of my girl friends that honestly believe that the debts they have should be paid off by their future husbands. What's mine is yours baby! Hmmmm........ I haven't found peace in that mindset. Even if I can pay off 50-80% of my student loans right now I'd be elated. If not, then I will be working my butt off so that isn't a major factor in our marriage. Finances are one of the things in life that stress most people out. Not having money and being on your own is one thing, not having money and having to provide for someone else is another. Not having money and having a family is out of this world. Thankfully marriage is based on many decisions that you are talking over with the per...

Preparing for love is being able to relinquish certain parts of your heart that you've held hostage for the person you want to be with. This person you share more with, you are so raw and real with them, that it scares you more if they will even stay with you knowing all that you've told them. Same goes for them, preparing yourself to be willing to take what they say to you in trust and honesty. I think its probably like a euphoric feeling, unexplainable elation in meeting someone who trusts you enough to share those things with you and also that you can handle their baggage and they can handle yours. Truth be told, I don't think there is much else you can really prepare for in love except trying to be unconditional in loving the person. Until then, I'm loving the ones I'm with, appreciating them for they are, and who they are becoming. That's the good thing about love- it doesn't just stop with the one that you want to be with for...

Listening to a podcast earlier in the week about how as a single person, I need & should be preparing myself for the likes of marriage. The title is for dating, love, marriage, family. These are things I think of probably 80% of the time. Usually not all day, and usually in tiny increments of me watching a movie or tv show, or out exercising. If you haven't gathered, even slightly, I tend to make lists. Sometime I succeed at finishing them, other times I get distracted and toss it out. My list anyways, not set in stone, just something to help me keep somewhat focused. Preparing for dating is not really in most people's minds at all, considering they've been on dates, dated, or have boyfriends. I have to look at in terms of how to make myself better for the person I am dating. Let's discuss; If I don't want to date a judgmental guy, I have to work on not being judgmental. If I want him to be wise with his finances and spending, I need to be wise with my financ...

I've been waiting for this. Another relationship has started up and its posted to Facebook. I actually had a dream about these two specific people dating each other, but told neither one of them. Its not that I don't want to see them happy, I just don't feel like being in the same vicinity of their happiness right now. What's next? Pout, scream and complain? Nope. Move on. I prayed for God to do something, He did. My prayer was answered. The relationship status made itself known on my news feed and my heart went into throat. Its still lodged there. Kind of like choking in someone else's cigarette smoke and never being able to clear it from your system until you walk away from the culprit. I hid the news feed, on all days, on his birthday. Happy Birthday to him! Happy Birthday to me, it only came 3 months later. All I have to say is, alright God, what next? Bring it! captivated Heart

Papier Mache XOXO I can't decide on whether this is sweet and adorable or strangely too adult-like for children models? Cinematography is beautiful, but I'm trying to not have an unsettling feeling in my stomach about the kids.

Waiting & Relationship I am going to attempt to bring you something different every other day dealing with little things that go on in my mished moshed head. I love my brain and how intricate it can get, and with ampersands. For me, these two go hand and hand. When I feel more alert, I'll do a better one for you's guys. :)